Author: Adventures

Everything figured out. No fear, shame, or sadness. Smile, game face on. But this doesn’t last long. Your boat gets wrecked. Everything falls apart, but oddly feels to be falling into place. Vulnerable. Walls shattered. Tears shed. Healing beginning. The first few days of training camp I was frustrated with myself. I came into this thinking I had a great relationship with the Lord. The more it hit me that I didn’t have this perfect relationship, I felt weak and I wanted to pull away. After a few sessions I realized I had God in a small box that I wanted to control when I let him...

Everything figured out. No fear, shame, or sadness. Smile, game face on. But this doesn’t last long. Your boat gets wrecked. Everything falls apart, but oddly feels to be falling into place. Vulnerable. Walls shattered. Tears shed. Healing beginning. The first few days of training camp I was frustrated with myself. I came into this thinking I had a great relationship with the Lord. The more it hit me that I didn’t have this perfect relationship, I felt weak and I wanted to pull away. After a few sessions I realized I had God in a small box that I wanted to control when I let him...

Through out my life, I’ve heard people say how they heard God talk to them and I’ve never fully understood or believed them. I thought it was great for them to feel like they had that connection, but didn’t think it was plausible. I thought that because I couldn’t give an example of God talking to me, but that changed. At training camp, a woman came to speak to us about listening prayer. She said listening prayer is when you pray with the expectation that God wants to speak back. She used John 16:7-13 as has good listening prayer can be. In those verses, God tells...

How do you view God? An anonymous philanthropist that is there for your manipulation and pleasure? A cool hipster dude in ripped jeans who is only around to help your life to be cooler? For me, God has always been a scary authority who was full of wrath and just waiting to throw me in Hell for all the wrong I had done. He was always scribbling his red, grading pen on every flaw I possessed (Dramatic, right?). Though I would never admit that to anyone, my actions told of my feelings. I have always felt like Jesus didn’t want something like me. How could I stare into the eyes of a holy...

How do you view God? An anonymous philanthropist that is there for your manipulation and pleasure? A cool hipster dude in ripped jeans who is only around to help your life to be cooler? For me, God has always been a scary authority who was full of wrath and just waiting to throw me in Hell for all the wrong I had done. He was always scribbling his red, grading pen on every flaw I possessed (Dramatic, right?). Though I would never admit that to anyone, my actions told of my feelings. I have always felt like Jesus didn’t want something like me. How could I stare into the eyes of a holy...