Before I left for Nepal I thought I was brave. I was known among my friends as daring and spontaneous, the crazy friend who was up for anything. Going halfway across the world for a month seemed like no big deal. It was an exciting new adventure that I was dying to go on! Upon arriving my emotions got the best of me and doubt slowly seeped in.
I spent my first week in Nepal worried, fearful, and doubting why I came in the first place. The spiritual darkness covering the country seemed to find its way into my thoughts and heart. I couldn’t help but think, “was I actually meant to be here?” I was terribly homesick and longing for something familiar in a county so far from everything I know. Surrounded by people I’d only known for a week, and the foreign feeling of vulnerability seemed like the only thing normal.
That’s when I realized how false my courage was. My courage was rooted within my own strength. I was in a routine of relying on what was familiar. In the midst of feeing homesick and doubting Gods plan, the verse James 4:8 was on the forefront of my thoughts. It says, “draw need to God and He will draw near to you.” I’ve heard this verse many times throughout my life, but in this season it rang truer than ever before. If I’m going to do what I’m supposed to be doing here; then I’m going to have to press into God all the way. Where my own strength and courage lacks, God will provide for me. Today, I will start to fully rely on the courage and boldness found only in Christ.
