Break My Heart

When our plane first flew over Guatemala, I was stunned by the pure beauty of the mountains and the lush, green nature. When we landed I immediately witnessed the culture change and saw how differently they lived then I do. As we drove through the towns and up the mountains to Chichicastenango; I saw the houses, the trash, the stray dogs, and the poverty at every corner. But my heart didn’t break.

I saw the desperate needs and hopelessness in so many lives. I was expecting to feel so much emotion and heartbreak going to a third world country. I get emotional watching documentaries or seeing pictures of the poverty, and now I was actually standing in the middle of it all, so why didn’t my heart break?

Maybe it’s God protecting me. Maybe He knows I can’t handle feeling the weight of their poverty. Maybe God wants me to just show love without any ounce of pity. Maybe my mind and emotions shut down so my heart could be opened wide. I honestly don’t know and I wish I did.

But I can tell you that I prayed. I prayed for these people to receive light, love, and above all hope. I prayed for these people to come to know the Lord whether through me, my team, or someone or something completely different. I prayed for their lives to be dramatically changed. I prayed for the city and for God to show up in every single persons life. I prayed that He would break my heart for what breaks His.

What God surprised me with after a few days was a heartbreak of a different kind. We traveled to a place where the people of Chichi practiced witchcraft and sacrificed to the stone idols they worshipped. The cloud of darkness was so heavy and thick I became drained almost immediately after walking into it. But as I looked at the people who were putting all their hope and trust in “splinters and stone” my heart broke.

Personally knowing the true God and feeling His love and peace on a daily basis, and then seeing these people so desperate for that same feeling and getting nothing close to it was utterly heartbreaking. These people go to these manmade idols and nothing happens to their situations, nothing gets better. They burn candles for peace, love, and good fortune; but they only end up with unrest, hatred, and calamity.

As I looked at them sacrificing, and then out at the city of Chichicastenango, I called out to God show His light to these people so lost in darkness. And as I stood there looking at this beautiful city, He put a song in my heart declaring that: “He’s the God of this city, He’s the King of these people, He’s the Lord of this nation.”

The battle is, has, and always will be His! We are called to simply plant the seeds, He will water and grow them. We are called to share of His love and grace, and He will soften their hearts.

When I flew into Guatemala, I never expected for my heart to break in the way that it did. I never expected God to show me how so many people live. But I’m so glad He did. I’m glad He showed me the darkness, so I can pray for light. I’m glad He showed me their lostness, so I can pray for them to be found. I’m glad He showed me troubles, so I can pray for their peace. But most of all I’m glad He broke my heart, so I can better understand His.

More Articles in This Topic