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Heavy Hearts and Tired Arms

(I’m a little late on the blog scene being that this happened our first week of ministry in Kathmandu, and I’m now home from Nepal….better late than never, right? Here’s a glimpse into one of our ministries in Nepal)

“This ministry makes my heart beat fast every time I go to do it, but I say, ‘As long as God comes with me, I can go.'”

These were the words we heard from our leader, Rose (name changed for discretion) as we stepped into our first day of bar ministry. I had never been to a brothel before, and after hearing that, I didn’t know what to expect. 

We walked into what looked like a restaurant, but the tables were in separated areas. Darkness and emptiness became evident in the looks on the women’s faces. As I sat at the table, I knew that this is where these women were used on a regular basis. My heart began to break. The darkness in the room weighed heavy on us as we sat at the table. We pretended to carry conversations with one another when really we were praying for restoration, redemption, and hope for these women.

Eventually, our waitress sat down with us, and we made small talk with her as Rose translated for us. We tried to build a relationship with her in hopes that we could meet again to offer her a new life at the women’s center. This would be an opportunity for her to feel safe, loved, and capable of stepping into the purpose God has for her. As we talked, every light-hearted conversation starter turned around to the heavy reality of working in cabin bar every day. 

I heard stories of hopelessness and depression. I felt bitterness because of what the women had been through, while simultaneously feeling so much love for them. I felt overwhelmed by the burdens they continued to carry, while also feeling the hope of what their lives could be if they agreed to meet us again. I felt a million emotions at once, and I only was apart of this ministry for one day.

I felt emotionally drained and my thoughts did not leave the bar even after I had left. I now understood why Rose’s heart continued to beat fast every time she was apart of this ministry. It is not an easy situation to step into once, much less on a regular basis. I now understood why Rose felt weary about leaving, and could only face that reality if God came with her. She often hears these stories, feels this heaviness, and doesn’t always see the desired outcomes of rescue and restoration.

She admitted that this was hard for her every single time she did it, and I now understood why. Not only did I feel burdened for the women who work at these bars, but I felt burdened for Rose. The ministries God calls us to aren’t always easy. 

I was reminded of Exodus ?17:12? when Israel defeats Amalek because Moses held up his staff, and as his arms grew tired, Aaron and Hur held his arms up so the staff could continue to be raised up. Likewise, I believe the Lord uses His people to strengthen and encourage those who are carrying heavy burdens in ministry like Rose. 

Amidst the hard months without rescues, Rose is still seeing battles being won in bar ministry because of her obedience as well as people who come alongside her to share in her efforts. Even still, that doesn’t make hearing their stories any easier. 

Maybe I didn’t see these women rescued while I was in Nepal, but the Lord has taught me that sometimes my role is to help those who He’s called to challenging places. I know the Lord will continue to use Rose to rescue these women that He considers so precious, and I’m honored to have been apart of it. 

I am so thankful that the Lord does not leave us alone, but He weaves our stories together so that we can share these loads as one to further His kingdom. 

 

 

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