I did something super dangerous. I prayed a prayer that went something like this: “Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours.” Yeah, it seems pretty generic and like a stereotypical missional prayer, but let me tell you, it holds a lot of power. Within a few hours from praying the dangerous prayer, the Lord lead me to go on a prayer walk by myself. He took me down the road that goes in front of the orphanage. There, I felt my heart physically break for these children. I began to weep because of the burden the Lord had placed on my heart for them. I grew an unconditional love...

The Voices in My Head All of these voices that flood my head Are drowning my spirit Pulling me under til I’m emotionally dead My voice is focused on my hopes, dreams, and the things I want. But it all exhausts me from thinking too much My voice says “Perform! Then you’ll be good enough.” But it leaves me feeling empty, dissatisfied, and unloved. The enemies voice is easy to recognize. It’s condemnation, fear, and ridiculous lies! It knocks you down, and you can’t get back up Because the lies make you feel like you are not enough It steals your voice,...

I awoke from a seven hour van ride to the children of the orphanage waiting on the other side of the door ready to take my luggage to the guest house. How are orphans joyful enough to serve me? I couldn’t talk because I didn’t want everyone to know that I was on the verge of crying. Its one thing to know that there are orphans struggling in a third world country, but to see them with my own eyes and be with them as they cheerfully served me, was a foreign feeling that put a funny feeling in my throat. I felt undeserving and I wept. The next few days I still felt undeserving of...

It’s hard to see the impact we make sometimes. And to believe teaching English and giving hugs for three and half weeks could be important enough to uproot my life for awhile seems a bit far fetched. Especially when it feels so difficult. And the kids don’t remember what we taught them yesterday so we have to review constantly. And you don’t fit in any where you go. But God said go. He said he called me here. So I have to believe he had his reasons. I have to believe something is sticking and for some reason me being me is making that possible. God is more than enough and...

The Voices in My Head All of these voices that flood my head Are drowning my spirit Pulling me under til I’m emotionally dead My voice is focused on my hopes, dreams, and the things I want. But it all exhausts me from thinking too much My voice says “Perform! Then you’ll be good enough.” But it leaves me feeling empty, dissatisfied, and unloved. The enemies voice is easy to recognize. It’s condemnation, fear, and ridiculous lies! It knocks you down, and you can’t get back up Because the lies make you feel like you are not enough It steals your voice,...

Early in the trip our days went by like weeks. 24 hours seemed never ending. But I’ve learned so much, I’ve grown, and I’ve bonded with my new friends (American and Cambodian). We leave early in the morning on October 3rd. That means there’s about 10 days left. As we take on our remaining days of ministry and fellowship in Banteay Meanchey, Cambodia, this is the prayer I pray. Lord help me to see giant leaves as umbrellasAnd empty plastic water bottles as toy cars Help me to see the flooded ground as a dance floorThe heat as a perfectly placed, nurturing sun Help me...