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The few things that make me cry…

Today was one of those days I wanted to sit down and start crying. Actually this week has been like that, but today was different. I didn’t know how to feel; I was so confused and yet amazed. So today started out like it did yesterday; fixing cots. Since graduation we have been doing odd jobs around the house that needs to be done and the current project is fixing all of the cots. We only have four more and I am praying that we will be done tomorrow. We did that all day yesterday and a good bit this morning. Doing cots can be very frustrating when you are staring at rusted screws trying to twist them out of the old bed frames. Though I was truly content doing cots this morning-not because of some contentment that filled me but rather out of anxious fear I had for our afternoon activity. I had wished just to stay all day working on cots rather than face what waited for me at 3:30 p.m.

We had been asked to go out to one of the parks and talk…to strangers!!! I know that doesn’t sound that bad but for someone like me who doesn’t like talking to people I know very well, talking to strangers is no walk in the park. We hadn’t been asked to do much but just talk to the young people find out what they are doing after school; what are their hobbies? Even more than talking to people I dislike small talk. So with a grumble in my spirit I climbed into my Uber with a group from my team and headed down the winding roads towards the park. Once we paid our fee to enter we met up with the other half of our team. On their faces were some looks of embarrassment while others filled with humor. Apparently the park that we went to is pretty known to be a couples park and the majority of the young people there were together alone in the very edges of the grassy enclosure.

If I can be honest I was relieved. Obviously I’m not going to walk up to people who are lying on the grass together and try to interrupt what is um, going on. So I went and sat and I watched. I talked to God and I watched his people. I watched as a lot of my team members wandered around trying to find people to talk to. I have been truly content with my time alone with God so I was quite happy with the nature that I was surrounded with and the opportunity to just talk to God for awhile. In the middle of the park there is a pond and people exercised around it. For awhile I had watched a group of my team mates walk back closer to where I was sitting alone. I meandered over to ask them about their conversations with people and what God was saying. They had previously met a couple and had started a small conversation about Jesus but the woman had shut the conversation down so they had left. They had wanted to go back to talk more about Jesus and about what hope you can have when you believe in him. I followed them over to where the couple still sat completely unaware of the wonders God was going to show us.

Aaron one of the two guys on my team started the conversation with them. Telling them about salvation about who Jesus is and how much he loved them. The man told us then that it was there last day together because the woman was already matched with another man. I cannot even begin to describe my emotions in that moment. The word hopelessness might have well been written on their foreheads because it was quite evident that they had no hope about their situation. The woman had such strength in her, she held her head high even when I could see she was breaking inside. Aaron asked if we could pray for them and they said yes. Before they had told them that they had prayed to other gods but had not heard any response they were desperate for a miracle. So thats what was prayed for, a miracle, a sign of hope, and the restoration that salvation can bring. With our heads all bowed and people holding hands I tried to not let the tears that were welling up inside of me slip out. When amen was said I looked up at them and I was overwhelmed with just holy peace. I knew that in that moment God was going to do something miraculous in their lives.

The next thing that happened will be a moment I will remember until the day I die. Meagan, one of the most gracious girls I know, then told us to wait and she bent over and placed her backpack on the ground. Unzipping it she reached her hand inside and grabbed her own Bible. She pulled out a few pieces of paper and then handed the most wonderful book over to the man. I can hardly remember what was said next because the only thought I had was how proud I was of her for making such a bold and courageous move. The man’s eyes lit up when he excepted the gift. A few verses were given to him and her to know where to start reading about God’s wonderful love.

We all hugged and as we walked away I think I might have let a tear slip. There are very few things in this world that make me cry. Sappy movies are a no, leaving the country for three months are a no, even emotional moments in my life are a no. This moment made me cry; made my heart weep. I cannot even begin to describe the feeling knowing that you have seen God do miracles right in front of you. Know that those people you met at a park that you didn’t want to go to have a very distinctive path that God has created for them. Knowing that they will pray, that they will try to learn more about who this Jesus guy is. The moment when you hand someone a Bible and their face just brightens is one of the few things that will make me cry. How can you not? They weren’t tears of sadness but of complete and utter joy. I wanted to start singing, to start dancing right there on the street for how great my God is. That when they needed a sign God used his children to be that sign.

I wasn’t even in the direct middle of it but even viewing on the outside has changed my view about salvation- about evangelism. God is a God that gives hope to the hopeless, he gives signs as crazy as very white Americans walking about to see a certain couple. Like how crazy is that? I want to scream it from the rooftops about the wonders that God has done. We are going back out tomorrow to a different park. I am no longer dreading it but I wish to go now, right this moment. To share with people the love of the amazing Abba that I serve. The master that never forgets his servants, but uses them to further his kingdom and his glory. I have asked from day one for God to give me his wonders. He has, and he hasn’t stopped showing me his wonders. I do not like crying but I will now weep for God to keep showing me his wonders, I will cry out for God to show his hope and his love to his children, and if he wishes use me as a conductor, I will cry for those who have yet to understand the greatness of my Lord. These are the few things that will make me cry now, now and forever- I will cry for God, for God and his children.

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