Each week of English camp had gotten better and better as we lean into the rhythm of singing, dancing, teaching, sharing, laughing.
Growing together as a team with these fourteen other courageous, bright, and sassy women has been the best treat of all. Was I sure all of us would get along? No. Did I think we’d all be best friends? No. But we can all see past our differences to how we are alike, and the ways we shine uniquely bring amazing flavors to our team as a whole.
I’m getting used to tearing down what I expect, and I’m just waiting to see what God does.
But I am also endlessly panicked and confused. Despite the reevaluations and adaptations the team and I have made to ministry, there is raging turmoil in my soul. My massive debt and a way to pay it off plagues me every time there is a lull in conversation, every time we have breaks at the camp, every time I think about coming back to the States.
I know it’s a ploy from the enemy to distract me from full focus on our time here in Thailand and being fully present on this journey. However, it still feels like it’s crushing me with worry.
When is Matthew 6 going to become a reality for me? One would think with about 7 years of belonging to Christ I would learn…
It is going to take vigilant thought redirection to take every worry captive and simply fix my eyes on truth. Worry, distraction, and panic are NOT lovely, commendable, or praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). Jesus, help me to remember that sitting at Your feet is the ONLY necessary thing.
