As I type this, tears are flowing from my face. It’s funny because when I’m at home, I rarely cry. However, when the Lord is working in such voluminous ways around me, it’s hard to fight back the tears.
If a month ago, you would have told me I’d be teaching English to 12 strictly Khmer speaking children, I would have changed my trip destination. I remember the moment so vividly when my ministry host, Vandy, told us we would be teaching English every day. My stomach dropped. I thought “You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s the last thing I want to do.” In no way, did that sound appealing to me at all. But that’s the thing, God didn’t call me here because it’s appealing to Meredith. He called me here to seek His heart and run after it. Once I grabbed a hold of that, the Lord changed my heart forever.
I realized that I LOVE teaching English (ESL)! I would find myself sitting in on a class whenever I wasn’t teaching because I simply couldn’t be away from my kids. These kids have me wrapped around their little fingers.
Truthfully, I’m not super convinced they learned much while in my classroom. The language barrier was really hard. I’m beyond thankful for my translators, because I am most definitely not fluent in Khmer.
I didn’t have a single idea what I was doing. I remember the first day I was supposed to teach, I was clueless. I remember trying to make a lesson plan, but feeling extremely inadequate and unqualified. I didn’t have a teaching degree. I just graduated high school in the spring. How was I supposed to teach?
Thankfully, Jesus didn’t just called the qualified. He called all of us. He called me to Cambodia, knowing I was going to teach English. He knew I wasn’t “qualified”, but if He wanted “qualified”, He would have called someone else. But, He didn’t. He called me. I’m supposed to be here, teaching English to 12 non-english speaking children. (Also, I wanted to add, I don’t say any of this to discredit college. I still plan on going, but I currently don’t have a teaching degree.)
So, there I found myself teaching the ABC’s, parts of the body, the story of Noah’s Ark and the names of animals. Let’s be honest, it’s not like I was teaching Chemistry or how to balance an algebraic equation. None of what I was teaching was hard by any means, but I found myself questioning my abilities. But then, something crazy started to happen, they remembered! They remembered their ABC’s and where their “toes” were on their body. Watching them understand and retain the information I taught them was incredible!!
Every day I would get so excited to see my 12 little children. I would anxiously await for their bus to arrive so we could start learning. These are words I thought I’d never say. I never ever ever wanted to teach, but God changed me heart. He taught me what it was like to show patience and grace. He showed me what it was like to invest in kids on a daily basis. I’m so thankful for this opportunity and all the knowledge I gained from it.
Does this mean I’m coming home and changing my major to ESL? I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. That’s something that I’m still waiting on the Lord to reveal to me. But, I did want to give you a little insight on my thoughts and how ministry looks here in Cambodia.
Much Love,
Meredith
