Trusting in His Plan

Proverbs 3:5-6

 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your path straight.”

All my life I have heard this verse and fully believed that I was trusting in the Lord with all my heart. Growing up, I believed that I was fearless and that was the same thing as trusting the Lord. Until now, I did not understand what trusting in the Lord looked like.

The Lord has revealed to me that trusting in him is giving your whole life and being to him. Saying you trust in the Lord and actually trusting in him are two separate things.  For example, if you buy a new kitchen chair you know it will hold you up. You can see the legs holding up the seat. You know it is durable because the seller and the manual tell you it is. So you say, ” Yes, I know that chair will hold me up because I heard that its sturdy. I fully trust it” Until we take the step to sit down in that chair and put all your weight on it we aren’t fully trusting the chair. The same goes with Christ. Until we give him your all, you aren’t fully trusting him.

At the beginning of the trip I imagined that we would be working in remote villages. As we were preparing for the trip my heart was overjoyed and preparing to minister to the village regions. As we arrived in Kathmandu after two long travel days we took a day to rest. When they gave us our ministry assignment I found out that we would be staying in the city and working  my heart broke. Remote areas are very special to my heart because the Lord gave me a passion for village outreach. As I felt incredibly selfish for having these thoughts, I prayed for the Lord to fill my heart with contentness. This trip is not about my desires or where my heart is, it is to serve others in need whether in the city or in the villages.

As the week progressed I kept praying for the Lord to take away the sadness and bitterness and for him to help me serve with all of my ability. I still could not help to wonder why  the Lord called me to the city.  The Lord soon revealed the purpose for me in the city this week was to learn to trust Him.

Throughout this week the Lord handed me many opportunities to trust Him. On Monday our ministry host  told us that we would be traveling to “Cabin Bars” and working with the women who sell themselves. As my heart was preparing for the heart breaking ministry, I was also overjoyed to be able to be showing them the love of Christ in the midst of darkness. On the way to cabin, our leader encouraged us to listen to the Lord and be open to what he was telling us. On the bumpy bus ride I closed my eyes  and sat in silence to listen to him. During this time I kept having a vision of Jesus painting a light blue canvas on a wall. I had no clue what it meant I didn’t fully trust that God was going to use that for the ministry. As we arrived to the city where the cabin bar was, our leader asked us if the Lord revealed anything specific to us. As I hesitated to tell anyone for a while, I finally told one of my team members about the image.

We began our prayer walk and I was terrified that what I was heard was not important. I prayed to the Lord to help me trust him. As we arrived to the cabin bar we walked in to a room with the exact same shade of light blue I saw. Talk about powerful. 

As I learned to trust the Lord I began to put my full heart in the work we were doing. Still discouraged about the villages and not fully trusting God I struggled with internal discontenment. I kept prayed for contentment constantly.

After a long day of ministry we went to dinner. The leaders treated us with a good meal and it lifted my mood for a little bit! I saw the leaders step outside and it went over my head. As the came back into the room they told us they had a update for the ministry for the next week. They announced that we would be leaving this Sunday for village outreach in the mountains. Instantly, tears of joy poured down my face. In that moment the Lord told me to trust in him. Because of my lack of trust in the Lord, my heart became discontent in his plan. The Lord’s ways are higher then our own. 

The Lord brought me here to learn to trust in him and delight in his ways.

I encourage you to sit and listen to God. Give him your all and fully trust in him. Sit down in the chair. In fact, sit in the chair with everything you have and he will always catch you. If you miss the chair, stand back up and take a seat. That chair will never move because it is constant  and steadfast.