The Faces of Love

Today marks my last day in Cambodia. This past year I have been spending endless amounts of prayer time asking myself a few questions in preparation for this trip, what exactly is love? What does my God’s love look like? What does love in ministry look like? This month Love has had many faces. Love in ministry has been helping villagers pick rice. It’s been going into random strangers houses and playing charades to overcome the language barrier, only to end up awkwardly sitting there(still loving every second of it). It’s been playing soccer even when you’re dangerously clumsy. It’s been praying over people who can’t understand you, but trusting in the Holy Spirit to convey the message clearly. It’s been picking flowers and DJing dance parties. It’s been holding tiny hands, sick hands, and weathered elderly hands. It’s been learning boundaries and being vulnerable with your team. Love has been making fishing rods out of bamboo, a hook, snail guts and some string to let the kids be fisherman. It’s been rubbing kids backs when they’re sad. It’s been laughing playing dancing and cuddling. Love has been shown in endless amounts of ways during this trip. However, as I sit here watching these kids laugh and dance I realize what love in ministry really looks like. I’m thinking about how I have to leave in the morning and I realize that a broken heart is the boldest face love puts on in ministry. My heart has broke for the people here over and over again. It broke when I learned the terrible things these kids have been put through, and then witnessed how they still extend open arms to others and love so deeply. It broke when I saw a kid have to say good bye to his mom that has HIV and Cancer, knowing that may be the last goodbye. It broke watching her hug him then cry as our van drove away. It broke when we prayed over a blind man and I saw the pain and confusion in his eyes when he wasn’t healed. It broke when I couldn’t give him words of wisdom, because God works in ways SO much larger than us. And I know it’s going to break again as our van drives away tomorrow, and I have to watch these kids wave goodbye to us. Love is feeling what others feel. It’s sharing in their pain and their joy and their laughter. It’s having a broken heart and knowing that Jesus will mend you fully & refill you so you can pour out to the next group of people who need it. It is carrying others burdens with them so they don’t have to feel the full weight. As I await this next heart break and dread this goodbye, I find comfort in knowing that I will experience a renewal. Papa will mend me and heal this wound, then put more smiling faces and broken hearts in front of me so I can love and heal. I will gladly carry the next burden, DJ the next dance party, make the next fishing rod, hold the next hand and say the next prayer. I pray that you do too, because with every broken heart you bear you see another persons heart heal even just a little bit. There’s nothing like it. So say that prayer and listen to that story. Let yourself feel and help others carry their burdens. Pray for me as I say goodbye to these little ones. I hope you all go out and encounter real, heart breaking love today as it is the most powerful face love has.