So Fresh and So Clean (spiritually-not physically)

I still find myself thinking that my sins are too terrible and too great to bring before Him. I still think with some part of me that I am beyond saving -that His grace is out of reach. During this trip I have caught my several times thinking, “okay, yes. The Lord loves me. Yes, He forgives me. Yes, I am made new in Him”. Then soon after, I catch myself dwelling on lies. “No, TylerRose. You’ll never be as new as you once were. No, you aren’t good enough for His grace. You’ve messed up way too much for Him to rid you of all your wrong-doings”. 

 

But yesterday (Sunday, July 17), during church in an orphanage chapel, I heard words that shook me. After a teammate, Bryan Swayze, shared his thoughts on a few verses about how to be intentional in our times of waiting, our host, Alexander (Xanderson), began his lesson. Starting with some wisdom on receiving the fruits of our labor, he transitioned into how the Lord leaves nothing unfinished. It is so important for us to be patient and wait for Him because in time, He will fully developed us. No matter how miserable or painful our trials or sufferings are, He is using them. No good OR bad moment is wasted. Every piece fits to make the picture that is our story. He makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him. Because of this, no mistake is too big for Him to free us; no mess is too big for Him to clean. 

 

Man does not continuously forgive as He does. Man operates on a “3 strikes and you’re out” system. Man only allows another  to wrong him or cheat him so many times before he cuts him off. We’re used to this. This makes sense to us. But Gods grace is endless. I allow my flesh to blur man and God. I try to tie resemblances between the two when there really are none. It is so difficult to wrap my head around a God who’s grace knows no boundaries. But meditate on this idea here: 

If God loves us so much He would give up His only son for us, why would He hold back from delivering  us from the chains of our mistakes? If He loves us enough to let His son die, why would He hold back from restoring peace inside of us or providing us with everything that we need?  

 

He would not. He does not. He loves us when we are still sinners. He loves us radically. 

 

Somethings about this concept is so freeing. Where sin separates and cuts us off from God, His grace mends the relationship between Father and child. The Lord has been showing me this so much through the book of Isaiah. 

 

While Israel was separated into two kingdoms, God uses the prophet, Isaiah, to speak. In Chapter one, He uses Isaiah to speak to the southern Kingdom of Judah as they had become completely corrupted. They had rebelled against and forsaken the King of Kings, broken their covenants with Him, and given into corruption, turning their backs on Him. 

 

“Why should you be beaten anymore? Why do you persist in rebellion? Your whole head is injured, your whole heart afflicted. From the sole of your foot to the top of your head there is no soundness -only wounds and welts and open sores, not cleansed or bandaged or soothed with oils”. (Isaiah 1:5-6)

 

The people were covered in sin and corruption. They had been overcome by evil-doing. The Lord even said that their multitudes of sacrifice meant nothing to Him and the incense were meaningless. Their assemblies were worthless, and their prayers He could not listen to. 

 

Here we see a God full of anger and weariness. But He is not overcome by this state of heart and His emotions toward His people. The hands they raised to pray and worship were “Covered in blood”. They were covered in sin, their hands were Scarlett and crimson. Dyed with a deep red that would permanently dye any garment. But the Lord told the people in verse 16, “Wash and make yourselves clean.” He commanded them to stop doing wrong and take their evil out of His sight. 

 

The following verse serves as a charge for my time here in Zambia. It’s on my wrist in sharpie now. Probably a bad idea, probably don’t really care. It’s a good one and I like it as much as fried chicken and it’s a reminder I need even more than sweet tea right now. Isaiah 1:17 says, “Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.” But wait, it gets even better with verse 18: “Come now. Let’s settle the matter, says the Lord. Though your sins are like Scarlett, they shall be white as snow; though they are red as Crimson, they shall be like wool.” 

 

I have read it over and over and over again, allowing it to sink in to this stubborn, fat head of mine. Just look at it. We not only see God saying, “Hey, you are forgiven. You are clean”, after all of our evil and all of our pushing Him away. But he also tells us “Wash yourself and move on. I will always take you back, I will always use you; you are my servant”. 

 

Though I have turned away from Him like a song on repeat,though I have put things before him, though I have disobeyed, I am clean. I am worthy. It has been let go. 

 

This has to be the greatest love story of all time. Not only am I forgiven and made clean but I am CHOSEN. I am overseas to defend the oppressed, to take up the case of the fatherless, and to plead the case of the widows. I am not here because of my goodness but because of his greatness. Not because I chose this place, but because He has chosen it for me. Not because I am needed here, but because HE is needed here and He wants to show his love through my testimony and my love story with Him. 

 

I am forgiven and on to greater things through he who redeems. 

 

Isaiah 43:18-19 

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing new things! Now it springs; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”