It took
- A 1.5 hour bus ride
- 12 hours in the Atlanta airport
- A 5 hour flight to Los Angeles
- 15 hours in LAX
- A 12 hour flight to Shanghai
- A 5 hour flight to Phnom Phen
- And a 2 hour bus ride to our ministry site
To finally say…
I’M IN CAMBODIA!
My team has officially been serving in a small community about an hour outside of Kampong Cham for a bit more than 2 weeks now.
Day 1, I held a tarantula, taught a child how to play baseball using a small, wooden bat and a water bottle, and slept in a hammock. Simply put, I hit the ground running. To encompass the emotions I’ve felt, wonders I’ve seen, and snakes I’ve fled from in the past 2 weeks, in one blog, is legitimately impossible…
BUT… here’s what I’ve learned so far:
-An iced caffe latte from Black Canyon is quite possibly the closest I will come to Heaven on Earth.
-Crying is my new hobby.
-Squatty potties SUCK (especially at 3 in the morning when you forget your headlamp and trip over your host family’s motorcycle).
-If/when you get the chance, dance in the rain to Moana’s “How Far I’ll Go”.
-Showering with spiders is the norm.
-“Sit down”, “come here”, and “no” are my most commonly used, Khmer phrases, thanks to my daily, 3 o’clock English classes.
-“Shawn (the local rooster), that’s enough” is screamed at least once a day.
-Soccer is best played barefoot.
-Hearing children call me “LaLa” because they can’t pronounce “Lauren” melts my heart.
-And above all… the Lord has led me into the desert (or in this case, Cambodia), and is persistently “speaking tenderly” to me. {Hosea 2:14}
I’m going to be brutally honest, and genuinely vulnerable: I’ve been questioning God’s purpose in sending me to this “desert”, and I’m gradually becoming more and more frustrated with his response…
SILENCE.
“God, I’m listening. Speak.” Cricket noise. “Lord, you did send me, right?” Cricket, cricket. “Why would you abandon me HERE? Of all places, HERE?” Cricket. Cricket. Cricket.
Yet, even in my brokenness, even in my doubt, even in my growing fear, I pursued him. Desperately, I sought his presence. Adamantly, I listened for his voice. And yes, on more than one occasion, I cried. However, through my endless discouragement, I came to a soul-shaking, heart-shattering realization:
I desired Him.
After months of doubt, and denial, those three words became my refuge; my calm in the storm. Because, think about it… My desire for him, and pursuit of him, is limited by the restraints of the flesh. Yet, the Lord has NO boundaries; NO limits. How deeply must he desire to pursue my heart?
No squatty potty, unruly 4 year old, or giant tarantula could ever contradict this:
He desires me. Ceaselessly, relentlessly, boundlessly.
