Monday morning came to Da Nang bright and sunny with half our team off to the market to buy breakfast and the other half off to the beach to watch the sunrise, reconnect with our volleyball friend, and maybe meet new people. We conquered counting to 10 and higher in Vietnamese with writing in the sand and arrived home starving for breakfast and ready to conquer some coffee shops that afternoon. As the clock ticked toward 11:30 and we prepared to leave I felt the insecurity that had been haunting the back of my mind since we arrived creeping up on me. This was relational ministry, our whole purpose of being in Vietnam along with teaching English, but how was I supposed to just go out and make friends with people I came across when I don’t even do that at home? As we began walking down the street with card games in my purse and no destination in mind I was consumed with my inability, I had no purpose here, I was not equipped to invest in people this way, I should be somewhere they just give me babies to hold.
For some reason I started verbalizing these thoughts to my team that was with me, but even as I did I found myself recognizing them as lies and truth began to combat them both in my mind and through my friends. I was reminded that we don’t need to be equipped we just need to say “yes” and our Father will provide the rest. I was reminded that He called me to come to Vietnam so clearly and that He did that for a reason. I was reminded that He is a good father and does not ask me to step out in faith just to let me fall, His plan is greater.
Even knowing the truth of my purpose in Vietnam all my doubts still warred inside me and as we continued walking to what was still an unknown destination I found myself saying “Fine God, show me. I’m trusting you have a purpose in telling me to come here with nothing to give but I can’t do this you have to show me what you’re planning on doing.”
Walking in this internal conflict made it seem to me as if we’d been walking for ages, but it was about 15 minutes of walking past empty coffee shops that didn’t feel right when I saw a sign hanging outside a confusing looking establishment that said “cà phê” which is Vietnamese for coffee in fancy gold letters. For no reason I could understand except being tired of walking already I said we should go in, it said coffee and we weren’t going to find anywhere better anyway. As we were walking back into pavilion buildings we were greeted by empty tables once again and a group of employees gathered at the counter laughing. We kept walking and ended up in a small, very fancy, coffee store. There were small shelves of coffee and tea and things I didn’t even know, and glass cases lining the wall. It looked expensive, definitely not like a place to play card games, and more importantly it was empty. We probably would have turned around immediately but the second we stepped into the store one of the girls working there with one of the sweetest smiles I’ve ever seen was already by our side to show us the coffee that was for sale. In an attempt not to walk out rudely I tried to ask her, confusing hand gestures included, where we could get a cup of coffee hoping for a recommendation. Instead she sat us down at a table off to the side, disappeared momentarily to her coworkers who were giggling and staring at us (a normal reaction), and returned with traditional Vietnamese tea to tell us she would bring us coffee. In an attempt to salvage some sense of our purpose I invited her to sit with us when she returned with the coffee but she insisted she only new a little English and disappeared with a smile. So there we sat staring at our fancy tiny French press coffees that no one (except me) actually wanted, and I was defeated. I apologized to my team for misleading us, and offered to pay for the coffee that I was sure would be far too expensive. Even attempting to redeem my mistake in some small way failed, how could we befriend someone who wasn’t even comfortable speaking English with us? I downed my green vanilla tea as Halle encouraged from across the table that we just needed to ask her questions to make her feel more comfortable. In my self-pity it seemed like an impossible task, but beneath the frustration I couldn’t shake the small feeling that I really wanted to talk to this girl.
When she came back to check on us I found myself asking her questions about the coffee and tea to begin with leading into her staying to talk with us more. She told us how the shop is mostly frequented by Chinese tourists and so she speaks fluent Chinese but she is trying to teach herself English. Her name is Dung which she told us means “Beautiful” before telling us that we were all beautiful. She was very excited to hear that we were going to be teaching English at Vision Café and we were able to invite her and share when we would be there! Shortly after she introduced us to a couple more girls, one of them named Kim with very good English who sat down and talked to us for awhile about everything from school, to the Fast and Furious movies. She told us we drank our coffee too fast for Vietnam and not to buy the coffee from that shop because it was too expensive.
When Kim had to get ready to leave for another job we left too, after making sure to add both girls on Facebook of course. We walked out smiling as I was overcome with such a peaceful joy and content in the fact that, despite my doubt and what I believed to be my inability, God brought us exactly where He wanted us and opened the door for us to talk to exactly who He wanted us to. The story could end here, and I would have been praising the Lord in how He used and lead us, but as we stepped out He gave us a true “But wait, there’s more!” moment. The second I was out the door I heard my name being shouted from behind and turned around to see five girls running out to us with Kim with big smiles on their faces as we greeted them enthusiastically and Kim told us they all wanted to come learn English from us! We gave them all the information and told them about karaoke and made our way back past the empty tables waving goodbye to our new friends.
I would have loved to share the story of how God used us in the places He had planned that ended with me being content in how I was being used, but our Father loves to give us more. Instead of just walking out with a smile on my face I walked out with tears in my eyes as well, overwhelmed by the faithfulness of a Father who would take me from a place of being completely sure of my failing to a place of using me more then I imagined and giving me such absolute certainty that my yes was all He needed from me to love the people He would put in my path.
