I Never Want to Go Back

As I woke up in my hammock this morning, I began thinking of all the things I miss. I miss my bed and warm showers. I miss going to my favorite coffee shops. I miss the smell of fresh linens and having clean laundry everyday (HUGE thank you to Lois for doing my laundry everyday back home. You rock.) Part of me misses the familiarity that has been the last 18 years of my life, yet at the same time, I never want to go back.

I never want to go back to putting myself above others. I don’t want to return to the days where I placed my identity in school and my job. I don’t want to get so caught up in my own priorities that I miss spreading the joy God has filled me with. I don’t want to go back to the person I used to be.

As I hopped on the plane to go to Chichicastenango, I was told that we would be teaching English to kids in Guatemala. My team and I have been teaching, but the funny thing is, the people here have been teaching me too. They are teaching me how to serve-how to give more of myself. They invite us into their homes and give us a tortilla or cup of coffee. The people of Guatemala have shown me how to give even when they don’t have a lot. I never want to go back to the self-serving culture of America.

I don’t want to succumb to the pursuit of the American Dream. I don’t want to be in a place where everyone is telling me to work hard so I can live a comfortable life. I never want to leave this country of hospitality for a nation of self-indulgence and entitlement because at the end of the day those things don’t satisfy.

It’s inevitable that I will soon return to American soil, but when we make our final descent, I don’t want to go back to deducing God to a Sunday morning activity. I don’t want to lose this desire to grow deeper in my faith and serve other people. More than anything, I don’t want to live in fear of sharing how He’s changed my life and how He wants to change yours too.

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