Dangerous?

I did something super dangerous.

I prayed a prayer that went something like this: “Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours.” Yeah, it seems pretty generic and like a stereotypical missional prayer, but let me tell you, it holds a lot of power. Within a few hours from praying the dangerous prayer, the Lord lead me to go on a prayer walk by myself. He took me down the road that goes in front of the orphanage. There, I felt my heart physically break for these children. I began to weep because of the burden the Lord had placed on my heart for them. I grew an unconditional love for 43 children that I barely even knew at the time. As the days went on, I began to fall more and more in love with these kids. They know how to love so well. The love of the Lord exudes through them in every aspect of their lives- from their dedication to studying English (even during the holidays), their laughs, the way they run with their arms wide open ready to embrace me in a hug and in so many more ways. It’s amazing to me how someone that has seen so much pain in their short life can love the way they do. I want to learn to love the way they love. The Lord has broken me for this.

On the same prayer walk, the Lord lead me by a Buddhist temple. While walking a young girl, whom I never met, rode past me on her bike. She said “Hello, what is your name?” (even though everyone in the village speaks Khmer, most people know how to say this simple phrase). I smiled and replied and asked where she was going. She evidently didn’t speak any more English and she pointed to the temple. So I smiled and walked with her there. To me, this was a pretty clear way of the Lord leading me to the temple. Once I got to the temple, I realized there was a Buddhist event going on (which I would later realize was a huge holiday celebration). I decided to take a moment and pray for the temple and the people that were celebrating there.

The Lord also began to break my heart for the Buddhist community.

On another day, the kids took us for a walk where we ended up at the another temple (would you believe that). So we took the opportunity to go in and explore a little (which is allowed), but I also took the opportunity to prayer walk their worship area. During this prayer, the Lord revealed to me how broken He is for these people. Every day these people hustle and bustle to get their offerings to the temple. They are so dedicated to a meaningless cause and that breaks the Lord’s heart, along with mine. The Lord came to set us free, I wish these people could learn this lesson.

Also, the hospitality of the Buddhist community is astonishing. The other day a few of my team mates and I decided to go prayer walk around the temple again. After we were done praying we noticed a few of our kids from English class playing outside of the temple. We walked over to speak to them when we noticed another celebration was going on. All the Buddhists were dressed in black and white and were sitting in a communal area eating. When it came time for the kids to sit down to eat, an elderly man came and invited us in too. We explained to him that we weren’t hungry and okay with not coming inside. The man was persistent upon us coming in, but he eventually walked away.

Shortly after a monk came our direction and stopped to talk to Courtney (the only male in the group. Women can’t speak to monks) so between the broken English and Khmer, I got bits and pieces from listening in on the conversation. Like I said, women can’t speak to monks, so the whole time I was listening in to the conversation I was broken and upset for the monk because of the bondage he lived under. It made me realize how thankful I am for the liberation the Lord gives us because of the cross.

Anyways, after the monk left, the persistent, elderly man came over once again with a giant bowl of food. We graciously took the bowl and found ourselves unstrapping our Chaco’s and heading into the temple. The three of us circled on the floor and nibbled on the very exotic foods. Yes, this was a great cultural opportunity, but the amount of spiritual oppression I felt was very disheartening.

I believe the Lord lead me to the middle of a Buddhist temple, gathered around a bowl of freighting food for a few reasons. 1) To build relationships with the buddhist people. Relationships are valued in the Khmer culture. 2) To bring me out of my comfort zone and learn to trust Him more. The Lord isn’t always going to call us to something we are super comfortable with. He moves the most when we are uncomfortable and solely reliant upon Him. Lastly, 3) To break my heart for these sweet, hospitable but very lost people. It was very evident that we were the only three American’s in the entire temple (and the stares proved that) but they didn’t care. They were more than welcome to invite us in and even offer us their finest foods. This truly broke me. With this vast amount of hospitality, I feel like these people could do so much for the Kingdom- it’s up to me to bring the Kingdom to them. The Lord has broken me for this.

This is only the start of how the Lord is breaking my heart. But that’s the beauty of it, the Lord is breaking my heart to rebuild it to model His. I can’t wait to see how the Lord continues to mold and shape me.

More to come!

Much Love,

Meredith Lewis