Choosing Joy

     All of my life I have grown up privileged- everything I have ever needed and wanted has always been at my fingertips. For the first time in my life I am now without a bed, Wi-Fi, good tasting food, a real shower and my mom. Culture shock is a real thing people. I have been living at New Hope for Orphans for just over two weeks now; it is located in Banteay Meanchey, Cambodia- aka the middle of nowhere. The nearest city is almost three hours away, which means besides the occasional ice cream trip and our two adventure days, my team and I are always at the orphanage. First off, Cambodia is HOT, and my new dress code of long pants and skirts does not help this. Rice is a food group here, and we have it for EVERY meal. I have mosquito bites everywhere and the bugs, spiders, and lizards are the size of my hand. My long hot showers have now turned into pouring cups of cold water on myself, and I am now washing my face and brushing my teeth over the ground with a water bottle. My days of watching Netflix in my bed and constant social media has now turned into walking 10 minutes, and paying a man 50 cents for Wi-Fi under his porch. My big comfortable bed with eight pillows is now a sleeping bag on the ground with a mosquito net draped over me. Doing laundry now means washing my clothes and wringing them out with my hands and hanging them in the sun to dry. To top it all off, September is “Holy Month” in Cambodia- which means the monks chant all day. Everyday. Even at 4am. Oh, and toilets are not a thing here.

     That being said, life is different here and it’s not always easy. Everything that has ever made me feel comfortable- including my friends and family are gone, but I am learning I do not need all those things to be comfortable. The most important thing I am learning this month, is to choose joy. This is something I have never had to necessarily do in America, but I now have to remind myself to do this daily. As hard as living at this orphanage is sometimes, I also get to live with 23 of the sweetest and most amazing kids I have ever met (And a lot of cows, chickens, dogs and puppies- and my awesome team!!). These kids, who love each other and us so well, make everything that seems so hard here- worth it. We teach English three times a day, and spend the rest of the hours playing with the kids. These long days are filled with laughter and hugs and the nights here are filled with dancing around a guitar and playing soccer. The kids here have almost nothing yet I have never seen more smiles and happy faces. They play soccer (“football”) with deflated balls and they make cars out of plastic water bottles- even tying them with string on the back of a little boys wheel chair to make them race. (Lido <3, if I could have favorites it would be him). The girls squish different colored flowers and water together with sticks to make beautiful paint and the boys use sticks as play guns. They use broken pieces of tile to play hopscotch and one boy even poked a hole in an old plastic cup with a stick to make a “bug catcher”. They make umbrellas with big palm leaves and they shampoo their hair in lake water my team and I were too afraid to even swim in. I think of all the toys I had growing up- and even all the things I have now and it breaks my heart to watch them go without – but it also reminds me that none of that stuff is necessary. These are the things they find joy in, and watching them find joy in everything they do makes me choose joy as well. So on days where I am sweating or getting attacked by bugs (everyday), or there are rats in my “bathroom” or spiders on my pillow, or the power is out and we don’t have lights or fans or water- I look at these kids and I choose joy. When I first got here, I remember thinking that there was no way I could spend a whole month here, and now I cannot imagine having to leave here in just a week and a half. These kids have so little yet they give so much love and that is a way of life I hope I never forget.