Finally.
After months of impatience, eagerness and a little bit of FOMO, I am here. Well, kind of.
Presently, I am writing from the small yet comfortable church where my team sleeps at the orphanage. 13 sweaty people sleeping in one room brings many challenges, but I’d say it brings more blessings. Because of it, we’ve bonded quicker, our sleeping habits (snoring, sleep talking, the usual) have quickly become normal and most of all, we are all on the same-sleep level. We all know the feels of the rooster roosting at 3 am, the kids laughing at 5 am, the iconic sounds of ducks mating and the geckos crawling around our beds as we try to fall asleep. It’s safe to say we’re all a bit sleep deprived…
Yet though I’m here, I’ve had a hard time feeling truly present. It’s difficult to leave the norms of North America and enter into a completely new lifestyle for what seems like forever (I know I know, it’s just three months). And I’m not talking about culture shock, as I have experienced that at extremes before. I’ve become aware of the fact that whatever I wanted back in Canada, I could have, and thus I would get it. Whether it was late l night drive-thru runs, pizza or even just watching Netflix, if i wanted it, I would have it. Here, I’ve caught myself day dreaming and drooling over these things, only in selfishness, slothfulness and gluttony. It has taken me a 72 hour travel itinerary and experiencing the daily life in an orphanage to realize this flaw of mine. And these things, these greedy longings and cravings I have for comfort and pleasure, are keeping me from becoming truly present at the orphanage.
The times I am distracted by these comfort-cravings trump all the rest. They are the times I am holding toddlers in my lap and chasing soccer balls with my buddy “Spider-Man”. They are the times my team and I are learning about the depths of one another and the times I dig into the Word. They are the times I am handed a naked, one month old baby to hold. They are the times I hear the loud and proud voices of the kids singing worship songs. They are the times we teach English and the kids are overwhelmingly eager to learn. They are the times we hear how God has used the Pastor to allow these children to be surrounded by love. They are the times I feel overjoyed with God’a love in my life and in others. Heck, they are even the times when I am humbled to pour a bucket over my head and call it a shower! But these times, these beautiful times, are when I feel truly present. Not only that, but I feel alive, loved and full of purpose. I pray, and I ask that you would as well, for my whole self to feel present at all times.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” Romans 12:2
~ other prayer requests ~
– unity in our team
– constant energy and drive
– the children’s safety and health
