The Heart

The heart is one if not the strongest muscles in your body. It is what keeps you alive along with many other organs, but the heart is special. It pumps blood all throughout your body. The heart is an amazing thing. It is also what allows you to have feelings. Like when you go on your first date. Your heart is full of so much happiness, or when you score the winning goal at a game. Your heart is filled with joy. The heart is truly a beautiful thing God has given us. God is the one who fills our hearts with joy, happiness, truth, laughter, and so much more. He gives you the little things in life that light up your heart. Little things like watching the sunrise at the beach or even finding a dollar bill in your pocket, but the devil likes to break your heart. He throws things at your heart so you won’t look to God. He whispers into your heart and tells you that you are not worth it; that there is nothing good in the world for you. He breaks your heart so that you won’t look towards God but that you will look toward the things that ease your heart at the time. Like drinking, boys, sex, friends. They might ease the heart for a little while but they only hit the surface.

My heart has been hurting a lot lately. It’s not that I feel worthless or unloved or ugly. It is things that have happened that are being shoved back into my heart. Things I have been working on letting go of and people in my life who I have been trying so hard to let go of. People who have crushed my heart and have crushed it so hard that I can’t get it back to the way it was. I’m not saying my heart is still broken. I’m saying that it’s not the same. It is still my heart it just has a lot of scars on it. Through this period of brokenness in my life God has taught me so much. He has taught me what it truly means to love Him and myself. I have never in my life loved myself the way I do now. I look in the mirror and see the beauty He has given me. I see now that the beauty on the inside matches my beauty on the outside. Learning this has been a challenge for me. A really hard journey I had to take, but something I wouldn’t change. I have peace. I am not afraid of Gods plan anymore. I don’t know what the next chapter in life my life looks like. I don’t know anything, but I do know this. God has never stopped loving me. He didn’t stop loving me when I was hurting myself physically, mentally, or spiritually. He didn’t stop loving me when I kept running away from Him. God loved me through all this. He was knocking on my heart ever so gently waiting for me to let Him in. He whispers sweet things into my heart. Yes the heart is very strong and can handle many things, but if you don’t let God into your heart to fix hurt and brokenness then one day those things will break you to the point you don’t feel like you can return. God is gently knocking on your heart. He wants to mend your heart. In the movie Brave there is a quote that I think about a lot when I think of God repairing my heart. It says “mend the bond torn by shame.” Let God mend the shame, brokenness, and hurt in your heart. When I finally let Him do it I found so much love and joy in my life. There will be days when you feel like your scars are being cut open again. I felt that today, but know that you are human and that will happen. You will want to go back to the habits you had before and you will not want to talk to God. Remember this though your heart is strong and with God in it it is the strongest it could ever be. Let God mend your heart. Let Him in the dark places you don’t want Him to go. God loves you and wants to help you. You just have to be willing to let Him in.