I’m starting to understand what it means to be still, I’m not talking about no body movements type of still. Something far more meaningful is what I am leaning towards. Since training camp the good Lord has been teaching me a lot about myself. That is, He has pointed out to me that I’m a terrible listener and that I have a very busy mind along with being a busy body (thanks mom). I appreciate my time reading and journaling alone, since these last couple of weeks I don’t receive much of that so I’m defiantly learning how to pick and choose my times of stillness.
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The other morning I woke up at 5:30 am, going back to sleep like I wanted was not an option. My mind was already roaming. I laid there for forty-five minutes thinking, “should I go do a leg workout? Maybe read one of the 3 books I brought. What should I do when we get done with ministry today? I’ll go use the wifi at Life Cafe.” I constantly kept losing things and thinking about everything. I couldn’t pray nor could I journal.
?That same morning during quite time my mind would not shut up! Sitting out side of the bungalow (where we eat our meals) with my hot tea for quite time. This sounds relaxing but I was sweaty, nat’s were all over me, ants were crawling on my feet, mesquites were sucking my blood, (I’m gonna get malaria) sorry mom. I was thinking about all that stuff at the same time! I couldn’t get what I wanted done to enjoy my quite time. I stopped and prayed for the Lord to calm my mind and asked for Him to control the mosquitos from biting me. And BAM silence. “ OH good God of mine you are so cool and awesome! you da’ MAN! ”
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At training I learned this new way of prayer. I like to consider it worship too. These simple words I recite in my head and I feel totally calmed and my mind is silenced, “Lord silence my mind, Lord silence the devil, Lord silence the world, so that I may listen to you.” Haha, my God is very calm and patient towards my craziness. He lets me do my own thing before coming and showing off.
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Lately I have been observing God a lot more, paying attention to the little and big things he has been doing around me. The other day once we finished ministry and were back at the dorm, everyone went into the village to go to the markets. I stayed behind to journal. I felt myself being tugged towards the front court yard. I got comfy in my Crazy Creek and journaled for about 20 minutes. Soon enough I saw these two little red bikes coming straight towards ME. The bikes parked, before I knew it these smiling faces were sitting right in front of me. I was then playing different versions of duck-duck-goose and Tag with two sweet 8-year old girls! Having the time of my life, I stopped to thank God for the blessing He place right in front of me.
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My teammate Ashley came out to play with us and she told me, “I was watching you. You were being totally still, that’s what draws them in”. At first I was confused and thought she meant actually being still. Thinking about it for the last couple of days I realized those weren’t just Ashely’s words. Dorky me, now I know God was telling me good job! Only two weeks into this adventure and I’m already getting my well deserved good job back pats!
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