We are in Rachaburri. I have been away from home now for sixteen days. Some days it feels like such a short time, I could even say it feels like we just got off the plane from Malaysia. Other days though, the hard days, it feels like I have been gone for weeks. A day ago, when the homesickness set it, it hit me so hard. I wanted to be angry at God. I felt like I had made a big mistake coming here. I cried for hours. I had forgotten that I am a warrior who doesn’t back down. My leader remind me that I am a woman of God and I don’t run away from fights. Man though, did I want to run away and fast. It has been such a struggle, but God has this. He never said this would be easy. He called me to do it, so here I am. I have never been out of the country. If you had asked me this time last year if I thought I’d be spreading the gospel halfway around the world, I probably would of laughed. There are times I had considered doing mission work, but I never thought I would actually get the chance to go. I never thought I’d feel well equipped to teach others about Jesus and serve others in a different country of my own.
I feel so blessed to be here, having this once in a lifetime experience. We are teaching english to children, serving others in the church they just recently opened, and just loving on the people of this culture that is so different from America. That doesn’t mean I do not miss being home. I miss western toilets and I miss my bed. I miss waking up next to my cat snuggling up against me. I miss my family, my boyfriend, and my roommate, who have been so supportive of me throughout this whole process. I miss work, and honestly I just miss Arkansas. Even though it has been a struggle for me, God has been teaching me a lot throughout this journey. I have learned about where I put my identity, how I am worthy in the eyes of Christ even on the days I want to run away from my problems, how I am his beloved, how to listen to God, and about the power of what love does. Those are just a few instances of what I have learned thus far.
I have forty-seven days until I return to Arkansas, but until then I will be content. It has been so humbling living here, and I am so thankful for many things. We have air-conditioning, a bed to sleep on, electricity, and so many things that a lot of the people here do not get. We leave on the thirtieth to Cambodia to live in an orphanage and work there for a month, which I am so excited to get to love on those babies. Please keep praying for my wonderful team.
