an extraordinary god in an ordinary world

I am currently writing this with 2 boys on each side of me, with their heads rested on my shoulders. 2 very different boys with 2 very different personalities; but both show love. In different ways.
Yuri shows me love in your typical affectionate, holding my hand at all times, kind of love. Panut shows me love by telling me jokes and giving me shoulder massages. What a guy!!!! My time here in Cambodia has been filled with children around us pretty much 24/7. Some are outgoing, some are shy, some like games, and some like to just be held. Love does not fit in a box and does not have to look a certain way. Being here, experiencing love poured out in everything these khmer children do, has made me realize all the way our father loves us. He loves us in the morning when the sun rises, and he loves us in the flowers that bloom. I think so many of us get so caught up in asking where god is, to even stop for a second and look around and see him in everything.
At home I look for God and the Holy Spirit in church, and during worship. An expectation I have every Sunday. I expect to get that feeling. You know which one im talking about. The heart of fire, deep passion burning inside of you, jump up and down with joy, kind of feeling.

I learned that is not a feeling. It’s a pure choice. A choice to see God or hear God in only certain things. A choice to welcome the holy spirit ONLY during worship. A choice to ONLY allow myself to see god in extravagant things. Being in Cambodia has pushed me to see God in ordinary life. Especially yellow butterflies. I have this thing here, I never saw yellow butterflies until one night I was praying hard and questioning why I was even across the world sleeping on tile floor and hanging out with kids all day. I was frustrated, and frankly missed the comfortableness of home. The next morning I walked outside, still feeling that feeling of doubt. I walked by the garden and a yellow butterfly landed right by my feet. No joke it was pretty cool. I don’t know if it’s because Im from Las Vegas, and a desert, or that my favorite color is yellow, but it so its a crazy rare moment to me. Far too often I think we underestimate God.
I think God is the things when you need them, and he shows up in ways we don’t even open our eyes to realize. His love is unshift-able. unwavering, & always steady. He is everything at once. He’s the rainstorm that shows up in the middle of your driest and most withering season of life; thirsting for something more. He’s the current of the ocean that drowns us, but also the waves we can catch a ride on. He’s the sun, but also the clouds that gives us new light, simply a new perspective. He’s the sunsets and sunrises that capture our interest, and the praise we sing. How silly of us to limit God to a single human being, or just a being, when he is bigger than anything we could ever mentally formulate. He is a hot cup of coffee in the morning, he’s your favorite sweater that feels like home, and a comfortable blanket you can wrap yourself in , all at once. He is the uncomfortable, pushing you deeper to exist loudly in a coexistent world. He is a protector, in the form of parents. He is opinionated and loud, in the form of thunder; roaring amongst so many agnostic voices. He is everything, everywhere. Seeking you always, at any moment. He spends all of his days pursuing his children, whispering in the form of love, “come home”. To be loved and adorned for all of eternity. The kingdom is here, we are walking in his presence. A never ending, reckless love. And ever since that day, I’ve had a yellow butterfly show up wether it’s outside playing, or walking to a market. God never fails to show me that he’s chasing me, wether it’s in the form of bible verses, or yes, even yellow butterflies.