I came here thinking that I want to make a difference, I want the Lord to use me, and I want others to see Christ in me. These are all good things but I was going about the wrong way to seek these goals. Although I knew I needed Christ to achieve these things, I wasn’t acting like it. I put my success in things I was doing and never felt like I was doing enough. I wasn’t resting in the fact that Christ is in me and wants to do the work. A sermon by Judah’s Smith put it all into perspective though, that practice does not dictate position in a Christian’s life. We are already in Christ and can be assured in that fact. I didn’t have to feel the need to constantly be better or not feel spiritually ready enough to do ministry, but rather just let Christ do the work.
One of my favorite days was on a Friday evening when we had soccer ministry. I was exhausted, and I didn’t feel like going. When our coach did not show up, we played a short pick up game, and then spent the rest of time hanging out on the side of the field building relationships with the children. Some of my teammates and I drew pictures in the ground and played little games. As I played with the children on the side of the field, I quickly forgot that I was tired. As we were walking home, many children came to walk with us and hold our hands. The love the children had for us on our way home was so refreshing. When we got home there were many kids outside our house with he rest of my team. They were jump roping, playing games, giving piggy back rides, and more. It was amazing to be so loved by the children, and see my team give all their love and energy back. These kids have the most beautiful smiles and joy that I’ve ever seen.
Through this experience, God showed me that He is the one that works through me, even though I might not think I have the energy. I think He could do even more through me that day cause I wasn’t overthinking all the things Christ wanted me to do, but instead just let go. I’ve recently read the story of Jonah. How he ran away from God, and didn’t want to go to Nineveh, yet God still used him to turn an entire city to Christ. I am in Zambia wanting to be used by God and seeking his will, so how much more will He use me? It was an encouragement, and I can’t wait to see the many more things God does these next few months.
