At the start of my time at NHO, I met a 15 year old boy named Chheng Hak. He sat on the back of a motorbike with a mischievous smile on his face as he showed off how well he spoke English, having full conversations with me and my teammates. He helped us to learn how to say the simple things like “hello,” and “thank you” in Khmer, and, as we became closer friends, he loved to mess with us by responding to every question we asked him strictly in Khmer as he smirked at our frustration. We all quickly found effortless friendship in him and joy in the the opportunity to spend time with him on a daily basis.
A week or two into our time at the orphanage, our ministry host, Vandy, told us the stories of each of the kids and how they ended up there. Chheng Hak came from a small Buddhist village that Vandy has been doing outreach to for years, and he has been living at the orphanage for most of his life. His father left their family when he was an infant and his mom has been sick with HIV/AIDS his whole life and was unable to afford to care for him.
On our last Sunday in Kampong Cham, we went to the village that Chheng Hak is from with him and Vandy to participate in outreach with the kids of this community, and to meet his mother and pray for her.
Over the years, she’s faced persecution for her faith and is looked down upon and disliked by those in her village because of her faith in Christ rather than in Buddhism. Despite the extreme difficulties she’s faced and the lack of love and support she receives from her community, she’s held steadfastly to her faith for the past 20 years. She lives fully in the hope that she finds in Christ even when she has every reason not to.
While sick with HIV/AIDS, she’s also been battling cancer, and has undergone surgeries and treatments to no avail. She told Vandy that she only has a few months left to live according to the doctors, and she’s asked that he’d continue to love and care for her son after she’s gone.
As we all loaded up into the van to leave the village that Sunday morning, she broke down crying as she watched her son get into the car to leave. My heart was completely broken for this beautiful woman and for Chheng Hak, and I couldn’t stop the tears that flooded down my face the whole 30-45 minute drive home. I sat there trying to stifle the sobs that were trying so desperately to escape, and I was filled with an overwhelming amount of sorrow and anger for all the injustice and suffering I saw in these people that were so undeserving. I wrestled with God the whole drive home, continuously asking Him:
- “Why!?”
- “Why is this woman who has lived her life so faithfully to You over the past 20 years despite extreme opposition fallen gravely ill and why haven’t You healed her?”
- “Why were all the amazing kids at the orphanage born into families where they’ve faced extreme abuse, abandonment, pain, and/or hopeless situations?”
- “Why did I get so fortunate as to be born into a wealthy country, with a loving, safe home and amazing parents, despite the fact that I in no way earned or deserved that any more than these kids deserve what was dealt to them?”
So many more questions raced through my mind as I got increasingly more upset. We arrived home and I went up to my room to pray and work through all the emotions I was feeling with God.
As I cried my eyes out, He revealed to me that His heart was more broken than mine could ever be over the injustice and pain that is in this world. That is why He sent His son down to die for each and every one of us. Christ came to bring hope to hopeless situations as He suffered and died in our place so that we could live for an eternity in Heaven with Him. And despite the pain and hardships we have to endure in our lifetimes, they are nothing compared to the eternity without pain or suffering that He wants to freely give to each of us.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
– 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
The Lord showed me that while Chheng Hak’s mother may have endured extreme hardships in her lifetime, she is headed for an eternity with Jesus, and the persecution she faced for her faith was not for nothing. He taught me that each of the kids at the orphanage, although coming from broken families and painful backgrounds, have come to know the love of Jesus, and that is better than anything I could ever want for them.
As I continued to pray, the Lord led me to read Isaiah 61, which says:
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners…
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.
-Isaiah 61:1-6
I found immense peace and comfort as I realized that Jesus loves each and every person on this earth, and He hates the pain and injustice they face more than I ever could. He has anointed me with all the power spoken of in Isaiah 61:1-6 through the Holy Spirit that lives within me, and despite the deep heartbreak that I’ve experienced for the pain and suffering that so many people in this world have to endure, I know that my God is greater than it all.
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