Where do I begin… I came onto this trip unsure and nervous of my capability to connect with the kids I knew I would be spending my first month with. Honestly, I didn’t think I would really be able to love them and I didn’t even think they’d like me. I doubted myself each time I thought about teaching english and felt like there was almost no way I would be able to have relationships with them. Little did I know, my love for these children would be something I can now not even put into words and it has revealed even more the depth of the Fathers love for me.
Theres this little boy named Vesana (vis-nuh)(also there may be a spelling error somewhere in there but just go with it!!!). Vesana is 13 years old and he’s been at the orphanage for 3 years now. When he was only about 1 month old, he was dropped off and abandoned at a Buddhist temple. For the first 10 years of his life, Vesana was a slave to the monks at the temple before the government rescued him and took him to the orphanage. While he was there, he wasn’t able to go to school. He made food and cleaned clothes for the monks and basically just did whatever they needed him to do. Vesana loves soccer and he’s also a pretty good dancer. He plays hard to get sometimes and some days he really has no interest in me. Other days, he laughs and jokes around and wants to spend allllll day with me- those are my favorite days!!! I’ve had a hard time trying to understand why I love him so so much… Even when he pushes me off of him (literally), I still can’t help but love him. When he doesn’t want me around, all I want to do is spend time with him. So, I wait and wait, and when he finally comes around, my heart is completely full.
A few days into hanging out with Vesana, I kept wondering why I love him as much as I do when he only wants to hangout with me every once in a while. After a little bit of thought, I heard the Lord say to me, “Don’t you see? That’s how I love YOU.” Woah… I know. Even when I turn my back on Jesus and ignore His voice, He still loves me; He still wants to spend every minute with me; He still totally adores me; and He wouldn’t ever turn His back on me. He looks at my brokenness and even my disobedience and, still, He patiently waits for me to come back to Him, just so that He can show me how He loves me.
He is SO good.
“Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.” Psalm 36:5
