So the days have been flying by, faster then I can count them. Quicker then I can comprehend, the time is passing. There are many ways I could say that I have 1 month left and that manual labor is going well.
Our team got to go to Chiang Mai for a long weekend to rejuvenate since our host was on a birthday vacation with her family. I went with the team to sticky falls, grand canyon water park, got to take a Thai cooking class, and got a blind massage with my team leader. There was also a World Race team there that invited us to their worship night. Zion hostel, the hostel they that they were staying at, was 2 blocks over from the bar street where women who were sold into prostitution are. There is such a darkness on that street and such a light at Zion. Two spiritual forces, present and real. I was surrounded by people full of light and striving for more. That night is still ingrained in my memory.
It was a weekend of experiences. (And munchies. I got some peanut butter and chocolate for a treat and they were gone by the end of the weekend. The night market was also a feast of different colors and flavors of all kinds.)
When the team got back, we got in the swing of things by cleaning, painting, and burying tires for the kids. Next day we weeded and dug more of the fish pond at the little farm. It will look magnificent when it is done. You’all get ALL the photos when it’s completed.
The future has been on my mind recently. Christmas, YWAM trip, how to meet up with friends I’ve missed, and connecting with my church again. So much so that it has been taking up a lot of brain space and creating stress. The worst part is that I can’t even do anything about it is maybe create lists of things to do when I’m home which doesn’t even help anything except remind me of all I have to do when I get home. My team gently reminded me to chill and leave it to God. They have been a great source of “go with the flow’ mentality.
New Morning Mercies has also been reminding me of truths that I already know. For example, when we accept Christ as Lord of our lives and become children of God, he then disciplines (NOT PUNISH) his children to shape them into the people he desires them to be. That took some processing because I had gotten into the toxic mindset of if I do any wrong, I have severely damaged my relationship with my heavenly father and that I am unworthy of love from him. Needless to say, this was mentally and spiritually draining.
Sin does not “get in the way”, God has already conquered past, present, and future. What I could see as God “pushing” me away, God is using as a way to make me more like Jesus. It was just my sinful perspective that was causing me mental pain.
It’s November now, which means that I have just 1 month left of this leg of the gap year journey. 2/3 done of the three months. No time to slack. No time to stop. I miss everyone terribly. I will see you all soon.
Peace out,
Katie
