More Than I Imagined

This month I’ve seen more ants and spiders and lizards than I’ve seen in my life, they’re everywhere. I’ve received more hugs and high fives than I ever have. I’ve felt the Lord continuously filling me with more joy and more passion everyday. And I’ve seen more Jesus than I ever have, in the big moments and in the simplest moments. I feel like the theme for this month has been “more“. God has shown me that the world needs more of Him and less of me – that He must become greater and I must become less. He has reminded me that He is constantly doing more than I could ever imagine.

My heart has been completely wrecked here in Zimbabwe.

Wrecked for the children who don’t have stable families – not just here in Africa, but in America and all over the world. The children who we’ve been with this month hardly have anything, yet they are filled with joy and long to be loved. They have reminded me to pay attention to the little moments, because that’s where the joy is. Those are the moments that bring life.

My heart has been wrecked for the women who spend their days trying to make ends meet in the veggie market. They are there for hours upon hours through the heat of each day. I have loved getting to know some of the women at the veggie market. We have been able to build relationships with them, do Bible studies with them, and pray with them. Some of them are in constant pain, but they can’t miss a day of sales, so they have to be at their stand. You can tell by the look in their eyes that many of them are tired and worn. The veggie market women are strong and inspiring.

This week two of my teammates and I made the sweetest new mnganes (friends) at the veggie market, Sikhanyisiwe and Sinqobizitha.

Sikhanyisiwe speaks with love and her joy lights up the space around her. Ndebele names usually have a meaning and her name means “bright,” so that’s what we called her and it is so fitting. Bright is incredibly strong and brave and she emphasized that her strength comes from the Lord. Bright has a lot of questions, but those questions don’t put a damper in her faith.

Sinqobizitha’s joy can’t even be put into words. She is different. Her radiant joy truly comes from the Lord. Her name, Sinqobizitha, means “defending the enemy.” I was in awe when she told us the meaning of her name, there is not a more perfect name for this beautiful woman. She is so wise – her faith and knowledge of scripture inspires me. I have no doubt that she defends the enemy with every word that comes from her mouth.

My heart hurts to leave Zimbabwe. Bryan, Sissy, Sanele, Percy, and Blessing – the sweetest kids who are being raised in some of the toughest situations. I wish I could bring them home with me and show them love forever, but I can’t. That’s where the trust comes in. The Lord has taught me to trust in a whole new way here in Zimbabwe. To trust more and to trust without borders. To trust that the people we are leaving are in His hands. To trust that He’ll give them the strength and hope they need. And to trust that the world needs more of Him and less of me.

The song “King of my Heart” came on as I was writing this blog and man, the lyrics hit home.

“You’re never gonna let me down, You’re never gonna let me down
You’re never gonna let me down, You’re never gonna let me down
‘Cause You are good, You’re good, oh
‘Cause You are good, You’re good, oh”

As I listen to those lyrics, I have to remind myself of this: He is never going to let me down. He is never going to let you down. He is never going to let the families living in the squatter camps down. He is never going to let the women working at the veggie market down.

Why?

Because He is so good. He is so good to me. He is so good to you. He is so good to the families living in the squatter camps. He is so good to the women working at the veggie market.

As I sing this song from now on, I’m going to sing it with a whole new look on life and whole new level of trust. I’m going to sing this song for the people who may feel let down, for the people who have a hard time declaring that He is good, and for the people who are so hard to leave.

The unknown is what’s hard. I don’t know what my future holds. I don’t know what your future holds. I don’t know what the futures of the children in the squatter camp hold. I don’t know what the futures of the children in the babies home hold. I don’t know what the futures of the women at the veggie market hold. But I know who holds our futures – I know that He is never going to let us down and I know that He is good.

More trust. More Jesus. More joy.

Love & Prayers,
Amber