Wow.
Month one is over.
It’s time to leave behind the very first part of Africa I ever knew. All the people and places. Everything I’ve experienced, learned, and accomplished.
South Africa is now left to memory, videos and my journal.
My time in SA was full to the brim with laughter, growth and Jesus.
Month one taught me to pay attention to the little, seemingly insignificant, interactions with the people, whether African or not, around me.
Those simple conversations that seem like “small talk” actually connect you to people’s hearts. And when you are connected to people’s hearts you are connected to God’s heart because God’s heart is for His people.
That was a lot. Breath and take that in.
No matter where you are in the world, there are people that God is crying out for. There are people that don’t know relationship with Jesus. There are people that have never felt a move of the Holy Spirit.
Coming here I knew this. However, I also came with the perspective that if God is calling me here than there is plenty of things for me to fix.
But.
After a little lice-fiasco I discovered this was all kinds of upside down thinking.
In the time I had while picking through two of my teammates hair and having my own head picked through, I began to search this out.
I thought there are to many things I could be doing, or rather fixing, instead of being stuck on the compound dealing with bug-infested hair.
I was frustrated because I felt that I was not here to have lice, I was here to help the people. To share the gospel and spread love.
Mid lice pick-through the Lord came rushing in.
He dropped revelation on me that completely stopped me in my tracks.
It was simply this: this mission is His, not mine.
Umm dang.
Here I was gripping about not being able to serve, thinking that’s why I was there.
And through that revelation the Lord literally just said that this mission trip shouldn’t look picture perfect or like how I imagined.
Instead, it should look like God’s will.
There is always going to be a place and time to serve because reality is, missing a couple days on the field doesn’t change what the Holy Spirit is doing or how He is moving in Africa.
What I have to bring to the table will never be enough to “fix” anything. I can’t fill bowls with soup enough, I can’t hold a baby for long enough, I can’t wash enough laundry or dishes…
The only thing I can do is focus on Jesus.
Because He is enough, every time.
Whether I am ready and able to serve, or waging war against lice with weapons of tea-tree oil and tweezers.
His blood completely covers every hopeless, depressed-filled situation. His love is enough for every broken, struggling soul no matter where they are in the world.
So as I leave behind South Africa and enter into a new life in Zimbabwe, I am reminded that I alone will not accomplish anything because I am not a savior.
That reality is hard. I’ve always thought that I would come to Africa and help the hurting people.
But the thing is, I cannot help SO MUCH that things are supernaturally better or fixed.
And through the beautiful revelation from the Lord He is teaching me that way of thinking is old and not the mindset He has prepared for me.
Within every memory that I have gathered and stored up over the last month, God is teaching me that although I have dreamed and dreamed of this journey for so long, I’m not here for me.
I cannot make this mission trip look like I want it too. I will completely miss the point of my calling if I do so.
This is His mission, not mine.
I’m not here to just gather memories of cool things I’ve done. I’m not here to take pictures of the poor. I’m not here to escape my responsibilities state-side. And I’m definitely not here to “fix” anything.
I’m here because of Jesus.
I’m here because He is the one that commissions, calls and predestines.
Jesus’ last words before He ascended into Heaven in Matthew 28:18-20 have been echoing as a reminder of why I am here.
I am here to serve the God who was in Africa before I even took my first breath. I am here to bring glory to Jesus who is already mending the broken. And I am here to partner with Holy Spirit who is moving through these incredible nations.
This is His mission not mine.
If His missions look like getting lice, okay. If His mission looks like doing ministry I feel uncomfortable with, okay. If His mission looks like getting car sick over and over again, okay.
This is His mission not mine.
I will go where He says and partner with Him to grow the Kingdom. I’m not here for my own glory or satisfaction.
I am here because I simply said yes to a call He placed on my heart and confirmed in His commission two thousand years ago.
This is His mission, not mine.
K, that’s all. Until next time 🙂
– much love from Africa ??
chloe b.
