God Loves You More

Last week we went to a safe house. This mission has had the biggest impact on me thus far. For legality reasons I am not allowed to share the girls names I spoke with. So, for that reason I will name the girl I will be writing about, Bella.

My ministry leader, Emmy, and I met Bella about 30 minuets after we had arrived to the facility. Bella is 16 years old. She lived in Texas for nine years of her life and then moved back to Guatemala to live with her biological mother. How she ended up in the safe house or back in Guatemala I am uncertain. Bella is very mature for her age and is knowledgeable in more areas than others her age. I could tell just from the brief conversation we had that Bella wanted to grow closer to God but was scared of the unknown. Bella explained that she has been mad at God for most of her life, but did not give a reason why. Emmy and I explained to Bella that God loves us unconditionally which includes when we are mad at him. She still did not believe us. Bella then opened up to us in this moment that she believes God could never love her because she  has done too many “bad things” in her life. Emmy and I reassured Bella that is not the way God’s love works. Bella’s same response being, “He could never love me.” In this moment I was holding back tears. This beautiful girl, at the young age of 16, is carrying a burden that her creator will never love her and that she is not good enough. That is so sad to me.

While Bella, Emmy, and I had been conversing, we were all instructed to draw a picture that depicted a time in our lives when we felt a sense of brokenness or abandonment. After our conversation was over it was my turn teach on God’s love. Bella did not know I was teaching that day and was very surprised to see that I was. A few times during the lesson I motioned over to her whenever I felt it was something she needed to hear. Low and behold, the Lord used my team and I to set a spark off in dear Bella’s heart. After I was done teaching Bella came up to me and gave me a hug. She asked if we would get to see if each other again and we would at the end of the month! Bella wishes to share more of her story with me. I can’t wait to get back to her and hear what she has to share. Emmy came up to me once we had left the safe house and shared with me that whenever I first pointed to Bella during my lesson, she leaned over and whispered to Emmy, “I like Kate.” When Emmy shared that with me I knew I had done my part of what the Lord was asking me to do. We as humans on earth cannot save people, but the Lord can use us to plant seeds.

I titled this blog post, “God Loves You More,” because when the three of us were drawing our pictures, Bella drew a picture of the mountains like me. I wrote at the top of my drawing, “God Loves You -Emmy & Kate,” and gave my drawing to Bella. She rolled her eyes and smiled as soon as she read it! After we all had a good laugh, Bella picked up a crayon and wrote on her drawing of the mountains, “God Loves You More.” Bella didn’t realize that what she wrote on her paper was in fact true!She was trying to say that God could only love me and not her, but God loves ALL of us more than we could ever love Him. He does not pick favorites. We are all equal in his eyes. Thank you Bella for being my inspiration for this blog post.