As I sit at this cute little coffee shop in Santa Cruz, buried in my Bible and journal, I’m having a hard time putting into words the impact Costa Rica has had on my life and the way the Holy Spirit has completely wrecked me and transformed the way I think, see, and feel.
At training camp, God wrecked me with his love and drew me closer to him. I let him in and let go of all of the shame and fear I was feeling. My worship was unexplainable, and the words that were once empty were now full of power… “there’s no mountain you won’t climb up, shadow you won’t light up.. coming after me… there’s no wall you won’t kick down, lie you won’t tear down.. coming after me.” God’s constantly pursuing us and he desires a relationship with us.
I know plenty of people who are religious, they “know” God, they go to church, even tithe and pray… but do they really know him?
Before coming on this trip I wasn’t digging in the word because I didn’t have the desire to.. I wasn’t praying because I didn’t want to talk to God.. I didn’t want to listen to him, and when I tried to listen he never said anything, so what was the point? If I never talked to Diego, if I was afraid to tell him my thoughts, ask for advice, and be vulnerable with him… our relationship wouldn’t go very far. We have to talk to God. One of my teammates on this trip gave us all a little piece of advice… we were struggling to remain positive, we were breaking our backs painting in the sun and digging trenches, this led to complaints. She told us when we wake up in the morning to ask God to fill us with his spirit, because when we are full to the brim with him, there’s less of the world that can get in. We realized that in the process of working hard and giving it our all, we weren’t asking God to lead us. We were trying to do everything on our own.
I can honestly say Costa Rica is one of the first times I’ve ever heard God in a vivid way. Sometimes he uses music, sometimes he uses other people, he uses sermons, he uses scripture… we just have to pay attention and focus.
I’ll never forget worshiping at training camp and singing the words “say what you need to say, move what you need to move, and change what you need to change,” that they ceased to be merely words, and became a cry for God to change my life. I broke down and stopped fighting. I surrendered everything I was holding onto so I could better serve in Costa Rica.
I had another encounter with the Lord that wrecked me. I was sitting in a plastic lawn chair in San Jose at the Thursday night service at creo church. Pastor Rey was speaking on 1 Kings 17. Elijah was weary from travel and he met a kind widow. He asked her for some water and as she was going, he asked for a piece of bread as well. In verse 12 she said “as surely as the Lord your God lives, I do not have any bread-only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug.” She explained to Elijah that she was going home to make a little bread for her and her son to have one last meal before they died. Despite this, the woman listened and obeyed Elijah and her flour and oil never ran dry.
As pastor Rey continued to speak, his words hit me like a dart- “there has never been a person who gave everything to the Kingdom and didn’t receive 110% more… more resources… more peace.”
The Lord grabbed onto me in the moment and said “Hannah, run to me. I am going to use you in powerful ways, you just have to let me.” I kept seeing a picture of me at an orphanage in South America with kids running around the yard and playing soccer. I had that same picture in my mind as an eighth grade girl. I shook it off and made excuses… “what would Diego say? I’m too young. I don’t have enough resources. I don’t know where to start.”
Pastor Rey kept talking: “when you’re in the right place, God tells you to rest… he will do the work.”
He told us to write down three of our dreams and goals… the only ones I could think of were:
1. Children’s ministry
2. Travel the world
3. Learn Spanish fluently
As I prayed over those goals, God was just telling me to go. I know I’m being called higher, and although I have no idea what that looks like. I’m excited and trusting that he will do the work.
June 24th, 2018
We have been helping to build a church in Santa Cruz. Currently the church is meeting under a pavilion. Yesterday was extremely powerful because we were able to worship alongside our host families, the congregation, and the people who have been tirelessly cooking for us and transporting us around.
The theme of the whole sermon was about the Holy Spirit. Romans 8 goes in depth about living a life through the Holy Spirit.
Verse 11 says “and if the spirit of him who raised jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his spirit, who lives in you.” The God who raised jesus from the dead lives in us… that’s powerful. The Holy Spirit wants to direct our lives, we just have to let him.
When you fill yourself with the spirit there’s nothing left for Satan to have.
Galatians 5: 16-18 says, “My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?”
You cannot be led by selfishness and the Holy Spirit at the same time. Which one are you going to let lead you?
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Building the literal foundation of a church in Santa Cruz, Costa Rica.
